Grains

In my attempt to do anything to avoid getting a job, I have recently become a Free Range beef retailer. In my attempt to not be such a fatty, I have also become a Paleo Dieter. The combination of these two events have prompted me to conclude that, Grains make you fat!

When I advertise the beef I am selling I mention that it is Antibiotic Free, Hormone Free, and Free Range. I do not mention that they are Grass Fed because they are not. Once a day they are fed a mixture of grain. Problem is people want grass fed beef and when they write or call me, asking if these cows are grass fed, I have to tell them no. Even when I tell them no, people have responded with, Can you not feed them grain and I’ll buy some off you? To which I respond, (at first anyway) I’ll ask the farmer raising them. 

The farmer, a close friend of mine, refuses to not feed them grain. Why? He is hard headed! There are a couple other reasons however. 1) Grain fed beef taste better. The reason for this is the marbling of the meat. Incase you don’t know, the white lines that “marble” your ribeye are FAT. Fat makes meat taste better. In order to get that extra fat all that is required is a little GRAIN! 2) Beef is sold by the pound so it is in the farmers best interest to fatten up the cow as much as possible in order to get the most return from there product. How is this done? GRAIN!

In a sense, cattle farmers have known the effects of a Paleo diet for decades and so they avoid it. Grains make cows fat and they’ll make you fat too!  As for me, yesterday was day 30 of my Paleo diet and I weighed in 12 pounds lighter than when I started. How did I do it? I did the opposite of what a cattle farmer would do. I avoided grains. 

The Article I Couldn't Finish

Rarely do I pay attention to the news and never do I read the newspaper but today when I went for my morning coffee there was someone in my normal table so I sat at the one next to it. Now usually this table is where the owner sits and reads his paper before the morning rush so naturally todays paper was sitting there. After the majority of my Nicaraguan, a few pages of my book, and my first business call of the day I looked at the headlines of the paper and saw this article. 

http://www.semissourian.com/story/1705027.html

Now I say I couldn’t finish it because I was on the verge of tears reading it. Being in a public place, I just assume not do that there so I folded the paper back up, paid for my coffee, and hurried to the office to write this. 

The article is about “The King’s Speech” and how it brings awareness to stuttering and the positive effects it is having on children who stutter. Now, I saw the movie. I thought it was great but it didn’t strike a chord with me until I read the words of the elven year old boy in this article.  There was something familiar about this boys thoughts, feelings, and experiences. They were mine, twenty something years ago. 

I was a stutterer. Actually, I AM a stutterer but it is manageable now, has been for years. I have been able to manage my stuttering for so long that I forgot how painful it was when I couldn’t manage it. That’s why “The Kings Speech” didn’t effect me. The movie is about an adult who struggles with stuttering. I was never that but I was a boy who struggled and that’s why this article hit home so much. 

I was reminded of how hard it was to be a stuttering child. I was made fun of constantly. How does a child deal with being made fun of something they have no control over? I forgot how I did it. Some words just didn’t come out. It was frustrating and once I got frustrated I would try to force the word out and that would make things even worse. Imagine wanting to say a word like Mexico and getting stuck on the letter M. Can you picture what this looks like to a person who doesn’t know that, this kid is just stuttering.  I went to many different speech therapists in the afternoons after school. One even tried to hypnotize me. I got pulled out of class once a week for a “special” class, which I think was a fucking ESL class. How that helped my stuttering I have no idea. My stuttering was a big concern within my family and it seemed that everyone knew that “Davey” stuttered. I remember my big cousin who was only a few years older than me telling me patiently to, “Calm down” and to, “Start over.” This whole part of my childhood sucked. In writing this I now know why I suppressed these memories so far down deep that even a movie about a stutterer didn’t remind me of them. 

My version of “The King’s Speech” happened in sixth grade. The entire graduating class of 156th Street Elementary School was asked to write a graduation speech. This stuttering “D” student was one of the few to be selected to say their speech in front of the graduating class and all who attended the graduation ceremony. I executed it flawlessly. It wasn’t the end of my stuttering but it was pivotal point in my life where stuttering started to become less of an issue. 

That Look.

Every now and then I get that look. You know, that look when someone sees you for the first time and is instantly attracted to you. They walk in the room, you lock eyes with each other. I mean your eyes are locked and you can't look away and neither can the other person. Then you feel you have to look away because its just weird that two people are in a room just staring at each other. You see it in the movies all the time. It does happen in real life but not as often. It's flattering to get this look. To be so attractive in someone's eyes like this can not take their eyes off of you.

For the first time in a while I got that look last night, at Starbucks. The last time I got that look I ended up in a relationship with that girl. A relationship that was full of love and passion. That would have moments where we would say, "I am so mad at you right now!" and in the same breath "I love you." The craziest of roller coster rides ensued after the last time I got that look. I think it lasted about a year or so. I would totally do it over again given the opportunity. 

Was last night's look the opportunity I was waiting for? ... No! For several reason but I would say the BIG one was that she was escorted by a parent and was wearing what I assumed to be a T-shirt from her high school. 

So long jail bait! Enjoy your caramel macchiato. If you still find me attractive in five years or so maybe then.